6 Steps to Rebuilding a Marriage Following an Affair
Rebuilding a marriage following an affair is the hard part. Sometimes we have to go through very challenging and painful experiences in life, such as the case in being on the receiving end of infidelity. It is even more trying when we have to endure the pain even though we weren’t the ones who made decisions that led to the betrayal. For those who choose to remain in a marriage following an affair, there is hope and there is a way for you—as a couple and as an individual—to not only survive, but thrive and become closer and stronger.
6 Steps to Rebuilding After a Marital Affair
1) Give yourself time. Do not feel you need to forgive with any sense of immediacy or urgency.
2) Ask questions. You probably have many. All questions are okay to ask as they come up for you.
3) Reach out to your family members and friends for love and support.
4) Practice listening to your spouse’s explanations and answers to your questions without judgment or anger.
5) Be open with your spouse. It is perfectly acceptable for you to share about how your spouse’s actions have impacted you and your marriage.
6) Re-focus yourselves on why you fell in love and chose to get married. Spend time doing things you enjoy together and leave the affair on a shelf during these special times.
It is never easy to rebuild trust and intimacy following an affair. However, it doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage and relationship if this is what you choose. There are no “right” or “wrong” choices here. You have to do what is intuitive and realistic for yourself. Marriages are complex, as are the reasons to separate and go your own way or to remain, take a close, honest look at what happened, and begin the journey together again.
If you are wanting to heal and move on in any direction after a betrayal, give me a call today at my San Diego office to set up and individual coaching counseling appointment! 619-687-9013