Who me? Controlling? NOT! Denial is a beautiful? Thing? Besides, I ask myself, what is the big deal with being in control? I get things done the “right” way. Well, there actually is a cost to having control issues when it is about trying to control circumstances outside of our control as well as trying to control (manipulate) other’s emotional reactions.

Whether we are on the giving or receiving end of exerting the need for control, there is a price that is paid, both in our relationship with ourselves and the relationship with the other person or persons. So, what is that cost, exactly? Here is Part 1 of this series, if you missed it.

6 Highly Significant Costs of Controlling Behavior

Joy

I don’t know about you but when I catch myself using controlling behavior, the last thing I am able to feel is a sense of joy and/or happiness. I might get a self esteem boost by doing things my way or a sense of accomplishment, but definitely not joy and chances are, frustration, anger and resentment are more prevalent.

Freedom

You may think that control gives you freedom, but it actually does the exact opposite. It binds you in an ever tightening web of contriction because we are not able to let go of things.

Energy

Well, this is a given. It is EXHAUSTING trying to control it all. Nuff said there..

Creativity

Ever have amazing ideas come to you on vacation? Usually that is because you are relaxed and don’t have the need, necessarily, to control as much, so your creative juices can flow. Letting go of control allows for creativity to show up.

Support

When we are trying to control it all, we have the “I can do it all alone”, mentality. This keeps people at a distance and they will not offer to help. Pair that with most people with control issues don’t ask for help in the first place which mixes up a healthy cocktail of feeling alone as well as more anger and resentment.

Peace & Ease

Things tend to feel stressful when we are trying to control people, places and things. Stress is not a healthy emotion for mind or body when it is constant. When we let go and let a Higher Power take over the things we cannot control, peace and ease are the reward.

Love & Connection

No one likes to be controlled and people will tend to shy away from you, thus lack of true connection is a huge cost of controlling behavior.

The loss of each of these items above is a pretty hefty price to pay in anyone’s life. Being in control may feel like it’s the path to happiness and order, but, judging by the cost of losing such precious parts of our lives, strongly proves otherwise. Each of us is the master of our own ship. Our lives are ours and ours alone. And this holds true for others as well. Nobody has the right to control another person, and nobody is required to allow someone else to control their lives, either.

This article was adapted from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-robbins/let-go-of-control_b_710620.html