4 Ways To Change Your Relationship With Money

When I think of 4 ways to have enough money, I think of winning the lotto, winning the lotto, winning the lotto and did I mention winning the lotto? But how much money is “enough”? Have you ever noticed your conversation with money? Of course, money doesn’t literally talk to you, but that doesn’t mean you’re not constantly engaged in an ongoing dialogue of sorts with the numbers in your bank accounts, retirement fund, savings, stash of mad money or the physical green pieces of paper and shiny coins residing in your purse, wallet, change jar or various hiding places throughout your house. And, it is very real that this conversation of ours we have with money is directly linked to our overall happiness and even our health.

So, how does your money talk to you? Is it calm and resting peacefully, primarily leaving you be? Does it seem to always be yelling at you or demanding your attention? Perhaps you experience it as a relatively consistent, nagging drone ? Is it a relentless burden on your shoulders telling you “you need to provide!”. Do you ignore it until it starts a fire in your life that needs to be extinguished immediately or risk facing a significant breakdown in your life.

However money is currently talking to you today, it is entirely possible for you to change the tone of the conversation, if that’s what you feel you’re ready to do.

Changing Your Money Conversation

1) Get clear on “what is reality” about your basic needs (food, clothing, adequate shelter). Are you bringing in enough money to make sure these key necessities are handled? Tip: If your finances are especially tight or scary to look at, it might help you to request support from a trusted friend, family member or financial or mental health professional.

2) If your basic needs are handled consistently each month, consider other expenses in your life you deem to be necessary (ex. vehicle expenses, insurance, recreation money, healthy organic food, money for gifts, etc.). Is your current level of income high enough to cover these costs in addition to your basic needs?

3) Once items in numbers 1 & 2 above are covered, take a look at other expenses you would like to be able to afford for increased happiness, quality of life and long-term goals. Does your income today support these desires without sacrificing your previously identified basic and other needs?

4) Does your self talk consistently say, “I need more money?” Studies show that when our basic needs are met, more money doesn’t make us happier. If this is the case, maybe it’s time to change your inner dialogue about money. Do you have a poverty mentality or a gratitude mentality. Try changing your self talk to “I have enough and the rest is gravy”.

One of the most common reasons people experience unpleasant conversations with money is because there is a question each month about whether or not their primary needs will be met. Once the confidence is there, you can spin the conversation with money into a positive. If you look at money differently and change your conversation, it is amazing the shift that occurs. Our overall happiness and health increase significantly.

If you would like more concrete tools and skills on how to change your conversations with yourself, give me a call today at my San Diego office to see if the coaching counseling style I use in therapy is a fit for you! 619-687-9013