5 Concrete Ways I have Learned to Tame My Inner Critic
So keeping it real here, I have the WORST inner critic…oh wait…We all have that inner voice that tries to bully us into keeping ourselves and our lives small and free from taking too many risks. It is there to protect us…but it just doesn’t do a very nice job of it! So, how can you quiet the voices altogether, or at least enough to allow you to live a wonderful and fulfilling life?
5 Ways to Kick Your Inner Bully To the CURB!
~Come up with an affirmation that you can repeat to yourself everytime you notice the inner critic show up. Mine is..”I love myself, heal myself, take care of me.”
~Write 3 journal pages without stopping and without thinking. It is key to just free flow your writing here. Your inner bully will likely show up…keep writing anyway. This exercise will support you in transforming how you hear your inner bully.
~Now write back to your inner bully from the above exercise. Pretend as if you are giving advice to a friend who just said all of those things about herself. What would you say to her? What would you tell her?
~Explore the worst that could happen if your inner bully were correct in everything it says about you or something that you are worrying about. This will provide you with perspective on your circumstances and see just how unlikely the worst will actually happen and just how polarized and untrue your self talk really is.
~Turn the tables on your inner bully. For example, if it’s trying to convince you that you’re not very smart, the inner bully is a part of you, so perhaps it is the inner bully that is actually not so smart… I.e. your inner critic is trying to pull you down to it’s level. Don’t go there and refer back to #1 above.
Figure out what your inner bully really wants. Is it showing up to protect you or to guide you? Is it defensive or offensive in response to an outside trigger? Maybe your inner bully is actually attempting to keep you safe. Keep asking yourself what it wants until you get to the core of how it wants to serve you. Since your inner bully is a part of you, it may be trying to help you in some way. Be curious and explore.
Are you going to allow your inner bully or critic run the show of your life? Or, do you want to be the one to make your choices? I know I want to be the author of my own story and I have to keep vigilant about my own inner critic. The voice you choose to listen to in your own head is entirely up to you. If you’re having difficulty getting the voice to quiet down, reach out for support and concrete tools such as the ones above to help navigate the thoughts in your head.